With the Great beaver Cardboard and Duct Tape Boat Races out of the way for another year it’s time to concentrate on more serious issues. One’s eyesight for instance.
Over the last weeks the CNIB Eye Van has been touring the District doing a fantastic job of checking out everyone’s peepers. Even Tiny Tookalook, Drizzle Creek’s resident peeping tom had his vision checked. It seems he couldn’t believe some of the sights he’s viewed between the top of the windowsill and the bottom of the blind, around our fair community, and wanted to make sure his vision was a sound 20-20.
He also asked over coffee one morning if I would pass on a few requests.
The first was would area residents do a better job of cleaning their windows. He claims the current level of smearing and grime is appalling.
Second, many rosebushes, thistles and other thorny plants around houses need to be trimmed. Also please pick up all those boards and shingles with protruding rusty nails. Tiny claims although his tetanus shots are up to date, he doesn’t want to startle anyone with his screams of pain when he punctures himself.
Third, please turn off your outside lights, particularly those ones connected to motion sensors. They not only startle the neighbours, prowling cats, and scavenging skunks, but they are simply an unacceptable waste of energy. Where is this community’s sensitivity to saving the environment.
Finally, please keep your dog tied up and train them to quit their infernal barking. Remember people are getting ready for bed and all the racket is an impediment to a good night’s sleep.
I suggested to Tiny that rather than worrying about his vision being 20-20, he should consider if his hide was 30-30 resistant, but he assured me Drizzle Creek was a law abiding community and discharge of firearms within the town limits was simply unthinkable. I also requested he stop littering my garden with cigarette butts, and if he tromped on the Pearl’s prize rosebush once more, he could be courting a premature death.
But Tiny countered he considered his activities a real community service. After all Drizzle Creek is considered a pretty sedate place and his nefarious nighttime jaunts added that touch of spice that enhances living here.
Further he invited me along on one of his outings, but after remembering a recent post-bathing reflection of myself in the full-length mirror, I felt encountering a similar site elsewhere was more than my sense of adventure could handle. I respectfully declined.
But don’t let that deter the rest of you. Just leave those blinds up. Tiny Tookalook will be along most any evening.
